I Know God Did It (Testimony)

June 26, 2023

I Know God Did It  (Testimony)

Posted November 2, 2018


What I know God Did

Scripture says, …”They were tempted ”(Hebrews 11:37). These were God’s faithful servants. That tells me it does not matter who you are, what you do or what title you may obtain or hold, you will face your “brand” of temptation.

As I thought about this, my mind went back to a time period in my own life where I did have a temptation that I yield to that caused a shift in my life’s direction. Even though my desires at that time changed in the carnal way of thinking, my choosing sin brought me to a hard place but a necessary place of humility, a teachable place.

What I do know is that a fervent hunger and thirst for God’s righteousness began to develop within my spirit. The study of His Word helped me to go through  situations that if I had not come to that place of having an anchor for my soul, I do not know where I would be today.

God knew what He had placed in me, and He knew what would cause it to surface and I can say today, it has been through trials. My source of strength has been on His foundation-His Word, as “a lamp to my feet and a light unto my path”(Psalm 119:105). He knew that decades later, I would come face to face with even a greater temptation in the same area that would be for me to know, (because He already knew) where I stood in my relationship with Him.

At times it is easy to talk about a thing, but putting into action is another story. What may be another person’s temptation may not be mine, but I have learned everyone has a temptation that they must face. Here is mine:

I had been separated for eight years and finally divorced for one year when a friend of mine asked me if I wanted to get married again. During my time of separation I hadn’t dated anyone and once divorced I still did not seek out a relationship with anyone. What I did do was talk to God about what was in me. I told Him what He already knew that I had, “wife” qualities. But you know we like telling God unnecessary stuff. I loved to serve others, to minister to their needs, and I wanted to be united to someone who loved God more than I loved God and we could serve Him together-supporting the other in the areas God had called us into.

I answered my friend with a “yes.” I told her that I wanted whom God wanted for me. I chose not to advertise in any manner (via dating sites, etc.,), even though another one of my friends had actually gone that route and she (they) had been successful in choosing each other and are now married. I thought about it for a minute, but felt this was not for me.

The friend who originally asked me about my thoughts on re-marrying invited me to lunch along with her daughter, and while we were dining and enjoying each other’s company, my friend said she had someone in mind that she thought I would be great for and they for me. Her daughter asked who she was thinking of, and she said Pastor “WW.”  Her daughter glanced downwards to think about it for a moment and then she said, “yeah, but I was thinking about my uncle because I want Ms. Loretta in our family.”  We laughed a little and I thanked them for thinking about me in such a manner. Months went by without us mentioning that subject again.

 So I started praying, saying to the LORD, is this the one? LORD, You know I do not want to start this dating one man after another and on and on…then I began to pray for this “person, the man, the individual” that my friend had mentioned, even though I had never met him. I just prayed for him because he was a human. My friend and her daughter and I met on various occasions to have prayer and fellowship since that luncheon; still my friends never brought him up again during our meetings, and I was not led to inquire even though I was very curious to know about this person.

Months went by and during the interim of time I went on a missionary assignment in another State. While away, my friend’s daughter invited me to join in on a prayer call that she was a part of. I had not taken her up on earlier invitations until then, so I called in. The host extended a greeting and announced my joining in on the call, and we all chatted a bit and shortly after another person called in. I heard her say, “good evening Pastor “WW,” my ears perked up. I wondered if this was the Pastor “WW” that had been mentioned during our luncheon months ago, the man that I had been praying for…was this he?

A few months went by, and later I had returned home from my mission my friend invited me to church to hear her sing. I was introduced to Pastor “WW,” and he invited me to come again. My friend told me she felt I would be just what he needed because of what she saw in me. She knew I loved the LORD and His people. He was not her pastor, but she knew he had been widowed for over five years and had been looking for a wife and she felt I would make a good pastor’s wife. These were her words-not my words. She was right about my loving God and His people, but I have come to find out that a title does not make that person it.

When he and I finally did have a conversation over the phone, he told me that he had been asking God for a wife for years and since He hadn’t given him one, he decided to stop asking. I told him that he may have had been asking for the wrong thing. He may have just needed a “friend.” I believe after a person reaches a certain age a need for companionship, love and understanding from another caring person has more value than things or performance. A good friend could also become a spouse. My thoughts.

He got comfortable enough in our phone conversations where he would say to me that he could talk to me all night. He told me that he was telling me things that he had never told anyone else…ever. It was like a confessional at times. I felt after he heard me sharing my thoughts with him on various subjects, that that was what he had been in need of, so there I was.

He shared childhood memories that were very hard for me to hear because as I look back at what he said to me, they shocked me. I can better understand the “why” of it much better now than I did ages ago. He also shared that he had started meeting up with women he had met online and one of those meetings ended in a sexual encounter that ended up being disastrous. When he told me that …I froze. He immediately told me he had “repented” of that but due to that experience, he said he had to do a “test drive.”  I asked him what that meant. I knew already, but I couldn’t believe my ears!


 All sorts of things started running through my mind. I remembered my mother saying that an older saint in her day had said, “Two clean sheets couldn’t dirty one another.”  When she said this I did not get it, but now I fully understand what that means; but along with my mother, we disagreed with that theory. I had all kinds of questions running in my mind. Is he a “man of God,” doesn’t he know what God’s Word says about crucifying the flesh, fornication, etc., etc., doesn’t he know that marriage is honorable and only in that realm should a man and a woman enjoy the other.

Then I also began to think about me. I knew something had begun to form within me for him from the moment I started praying for him, the “person,” the “man,” and the “potential husband” long before meeting him. I thought about how he made me laugh on the phone and also during his messages at church. I knew there was a type of bonding that was occurring between us, and I did want us to be a complete unit. I thought that if it was not right, then why did I care so much?

I also knew that this was not something to take lightly and cast all caution and WORD to the wind. I went to God’s Word, and I began to write scripture verses for me to recall to memory, and if he ever brought it up again, for a defense, I would have them to remind him.

We cooled off from conversing on the phone, which was a good thing because by this distancing ourselves, I could see and hear things clearer. There were no more brotherly/sisterly “hugs” during meet and greet between us at church, just stayed the distance.

This went on for a while and I also had purposely not joined in on the prayer calls to avoid him just in case if he was on it. Then one evening I called in, and shortly thereafter he called in. He did not know I was on the call until I started praying. I sensed deeply in my spirit that after the prayer, he would be making contact. I was right, he did. We chatted a bit and then we bid each other goodbye because as it turned out, we would both be leaving town going to different States for several days.

Upon my arrival back into town, I received a call from him. He was still in his designated area due to a funeral he was attending. Earlier that day I had sent him a text to encourage him because I realized he was no doubt dealing with this relative’s death and the memory of losing his wife. I told him that he was in my prayers. Simple kindness, I thought.

Well, it is possible that what he said to me later had a lot to do with what he was experiencing emotionally by dealing with loss at various levels, and the “atmosphere” he was in by being in a hotel bar drinking; seeing all that provocative “flesh” being loosely paraded around and then to top it all off to get a earlier text from a special someone letting him know he was in their thoughts was enough to set him on fire! 

He repeatedly said, “Loretta, I didn’t want to tell you this, but “I love you!” “You are so kind, you are so good looking, you are so fine!” He kept saying this… and (as the song goes) I…Know I’ve Been Changed….I Know I’ve Been Changed because this did not do to me what it was sent out to do. Those days were long past over. It did not move me.

Prior to this I had had thoughts of suggesting what I had seen on a daytime soap opera over 40+ years ago. There was this “preacher man” who married a woman (himself to her) by speaking the words over them. I even said this to God. ‘God, if he say the words over us, wouldn’t this marry us-and we can take care of the legal paperwork later? (God probably started laughing), but afterwards I heard clearly in my spirit that Pastor “WW” would have to bring it up. I could not offer any suggestions. This was God speaking directly to my innermost being because He knew me so well. If left to myself I would run the train. But this time Loretta, you will not be “fixing” or putting anything together. 

Then I thought about him. He’s a man. Women, many of us anyway, can fair better in this area than some men. I had done well for all these years. No husband, no boyfriend, no romance. Then it hit me. I am a new woman in Christ Jesus. That old girl died a long time ago. Jesus, my Savior paid a very high price for me. I love God with all my body, soul, mind, and strength. There is no compromise.

By him telling me he loved me brought back to my mind what my mother taught me. She would say “boys” will tell you that to get you to give in to them. Here I am in my sixties and the game is still being played. She also would say don’t take anything from them because they will think they own you and think or believe you owe them something. Daddy would say, “don’t take any wooden nickels.”  My God, what wisdom they had.

Well, this “preacher man” is well to do. He likes the finer things in life, and he would drop little hints to me about what he could/would give…just wanted a “test” drive. I thought to myself, I am God’s daughter. The apple of His eye. My name has been inscribed on His hand. He loves me just as I am. I am no “chick.” I do not need nor want a sugar daddy. My insignificant FREE phone (at the time) does just what I need it to do. I did not need his “gift” of a phone. I did not need his “gift” of a name brand pocketbook or anything he had to offer. Nothing is more precious to me than my relationship with Jesus. Things break, wear out, get taken back, stolen, you name it. My peace, my joy and love are from above and they are eternal, everlasting. Priceless.

I realize today that if I had allowed my emotions, my feelings to give in to what he thought he desired, he and I both would have placed ourselves into so much condemnation when we did not have to be. 

God placed him in my heart to pray for him before ever meeting him in person. God sent me to be the strength he needed to see that was possible for his own life, a genuine realness. He needed a loyal friend to hear his hurt and pains, but not for me to be overtaken by them and get lost in the matter trying to be a “comforter” which is the Holy Spirits function, not mine and especially not as a single woman. 

God has taught me much through the years by placing me on the wheel. He had to “beat” out a lot of things that was in my DNA, naturally born with as well as my own choices that were displeasing to His holiness. So He made me “again another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter to make it” (Jeremiah 18:4). I will continue to serve God in righteousness and holiness by “waiting on Him” with my hands, my feet, my voice, my love, and compassion; with everything that is within me to serve His people in the building up of His kingdom. This is called sowing in the spirit. When we sow in the spirit and not in the flesh, we honor Jesus and He quicken our souls.

 Turn away mine eyes from beholding vanity; and quicken thou me in thy way. Stablish thy word unto thy servant, who is devoted to thy fear…And I will walk at liberty: for I seek thy precepts                                                                                                      -Psalm 119:35-38; 45 (KJV

 If marrying again is God’s plan for my life while I “wait for” God to send that handpicked, carved out man, then so be it. But truthfully, I love the LORD and I am satisfied with Jesus. He is my Husbandman. He  is my life and if He does not have marriage again in His plan for me, I am cool with that. I will “occupy until I (Jesus) comes “(Luke 19:13,paraphrased).

But if God wants to give me to a man and a man to me, He knows the desire of my heart and that is the man has to love Him (God) more than I love Him (God). I know this is a tall order, but I also know nothing is too difficult for God because He searches the earth. God knows everyone on this earth and those who are truly seeking after Him “in spirit and truth” (John 4:23) He knows. 

God knows my desire is for that potential man to love Him with every fiber in his being, but also has a place in their heart for a wife. So since He made the entire world and everything in it, then therefore He knows when and how to bring it to pass, IF this is His plan and will for my life. He does not need my help in this area, it is all in His hands.

As far as my pastor friend, I still pray for him. I knew it would be best for both of us if I stopped attending the (his) church. I was beginning to hear cryptic messages that I knew were just for me and we are supposed to care for our brothers and sisters in the LORD enough that we do not want to cause them to fail or fall. I also began to see his real fears, so I will continue to pray for him as the Spirit brings him to mind. He is one of God’s children and he is loved by God and God is giving him opportunity to take a firm stand in His Holy Word and to always hold fast to it.

Yes, I thank God for my test. My Faith was tried by fire, “it is better to marry than to burn” (1 Corinthians 7:9) as my mother would say often when I was a young woman without giving me an explanation of its meaning, but now I know the meaning and I passed the test “by the help of the good LORD.” But with this trial, I give God the glory, I came out not smelling like smoke. 

This test could have easily become my sin if it had not been for the Word that I had hidden in my heart and on paper. This means I can still praise and worship unashamedly the One who brought me through and out and not feeling down casted because I let God down. God promised me strength, wisdom, and grace. I sought it and I received it. It was God’s grace working in and through me. For this, I give Him praise!

Blessed is the man (woman) that endureth temptation: for when he (she) is tried, (s)he shall receive the crown of life, which the LORD hath promised to them that love Him 

 James 1: 12  (KJV paraphrased)

***The initials of the pastor is a pseudonym for the sake of privacy only*** 

04/19/2022 Revised and updated LJT

(Disclaimer - This testimonial is true, and was written and submitted by a daughter of the Most High God - to give glory to the Lord for sustaining her, when obeying and trusting His Word. Amen!! 







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